Should I be a Manager or a Friend?

Updated: Oct 22, 2020

Story: Kirti, Software Engineer

During the initial days of my career, I always used to think that many of the managers are not actually leaders, who do not understand their juniors, try to show their superiority. This thinking had a profound effect on my managerial style.


As soon as I became a manager, I decided not to be THAT stereotype manager and lead my team altogether in a different way. I always wanted my juniors to see a friend in me, share their joy and frustrations in and out of office. For 2-3 years, I was successful to showcase a leader in me along with maintaining a friendship with them. As the team grew, I realized that I won't be able to maintain the same relationship with everyone, because of many reasons - their preferences and comfort with me, and their personal life, and not to mention, my own time limitations to dedicate time with so many people.